Presenting Yourself In Court

Published June 6, 2018 by ravenstorm2014

If you’re planning to go to court to secure a permanent order of protection against your batterer, the ideal situation is to have an attorney representing you who specializes in cases similar to your own.

However, that’s not always possible for everyone. In fact, some jurisdictions are seeing as many as 90 percent of certain types of cases where one of the litigants is self-representing. If you’re representing yourself in court for an order of protection, there are a few things you can do to prepare and to strengthen both your case and your credibility. After all, your abuser may have secured a lawyer and, in all likelihood, they will work to use the law, the process and your testimony to convince a judge to see things their way. The more prepared and composed you are, the more likely you will be able to convince the judge of your position.

Note that there are always exceptions to every rule, laws vary by state, and this advice is to only serve as a simple guide.

Get Advice

Even without an attorney, there are still sources you should consider tapping to learn all you can about the law and process in your area. Some domestic violence programs and state coalitions have personnel who specialize in these issues and can assist you without charge, and in some cases, may even be willing to accompany you to court.

You can search for programs near you at, and even filter your search so that you’re only presented a listing of programs offering legal assistance services. Also visit, which is full of helpful information and a state-by-state review of the laws.


Is there anyone you can ask to be a witness for you who saw the abuse, or its aftermath? This might include someone from your family, including your children, or a police officer, emergency room physician, a coworker or even a stranger.

You can fill out a subpoena to order someone to appear in court on your behalf, if necessary. Court clerks will have the necessary form and a judge will need to sign it.

Do You Have Any Evidence?

Laws vary by state in terms of what type of evidence and documentation can be allowed in court. You’ll want to search online or contact the court to understand the “rules of evidence” specific to protection order proceedings. Most of the items below are allowed as evidence, so assemble as many as possible to strengthen your case:

Medical reports from injuries you sustained from the abuse

Police reports

Pictures of your injuries, preferably


Objects or pictures of objects from your home that your abuser broke

Pictures of your home showing disarray following an incident of violence

Pictures of weapons the abuser used against you

911 recordings, which you can subpoena

A personal diary in which you recorded the abuse

Printouts of text messages or emails which show any abuse or threats

In the event you don’t have one or more of the evidentiary items above, keep in mind that your testimony is evidence which means that you can speak to items above in their absence. the abuse was nonphysical.

When Children Are Involved

Applying the advice above also is helpful when children and custody are part of the equation. Depending on the jurisdiction, the court may be able to make temporary custody, visitation and other decisions as part of the permanent protection order process (judges and courts often like to refer spousal maintenance, child support, alimony and other separation matters to the divorce court). Realize that the judge is supposed to evaluate the matter based on the “best interest of the children.” You will want to understand ahead of time how best interest is defined in your jurisdiction so you can plan your presentation and responses.

Pay Attention to Details

Most jurisdictions maintain an online “court docket”. It contains your case number, important dates, motions filed and other records of your proceeding. You will want to check in on your case periodically to stay on top of the information posted in the docket, and to avoid being surprised by a development. It’s your job to monitor your proceeding.

Arrive Early, Be Safe

It’s always a good idea to arrive early to any important meeting, and in the case, it can help you avoid being late and uncomfortable encounters with the batterer. Before the end of the hearing, feel free to ask the judge to have security escort you to your car, or request that you be allowed to leave 15 minutes before the batterer so that you have an opportunity to depart safely. If the judge needs to leave the courtroom, you can also request that you and the batterer wait in separate areas to avoid intimidation tactics.

You Will Speak First

In court, a bailiff will generally swear you in and then as the plaintiff you will present your case and tell your version of events. Your abuser’s lawyer or the judge may ask you questions. Always address the judge as “Your Honor.” It’s okay to show emotion, but try to remain calm. Speak only the truth and avoid embellishments. If you don’t understand a question or don’t know an answer, simply say so. Don’t try to make up an answer.


Next Time

Published June 2, 2018 by ravenstorm2014

The next time someone says “why don’t they just leave” or “Why did they allow them to come back” it is usually because they don’t understand abuse, its effect on the brain and many aspects of life or they think everyones situation is the same.

The next time someone says “I cant leave” please try to understand them. Nobody wants to be abused physically or psychologically. Yet it happens at alarming rates. Statistically, it can take 7 to 10 attempts for a victim/survivor to break free from the abuser.

Please support them, please believe them, it will be easier for them to break free of abuse if we give the truth in love and instead of shame we encourage them 💜


Published February 14, 2018 by ravenstorm2014

No one has the right to control you. No one has the right to make you feel helpless in any situation. No one has the right to diminish your thoughts and feelings and to make you feel less than nothing. Men who control their women are not strong they are in fact weak and cowardly. Men who think they have the right to tell you what to do, what to wear ,where to go, when to have sex, how to dress , how to look ,what to cook ,what you can say are not real men.

A real man loves his woman, protects his woman, shows his affection, isn’t afraid to go deep into his emotions, A real man does everything he can to listen to their partner to be there for their partner and lets them have their own freedom, their own space in our secure enough in themselves they don’t have to control. Remember control is not love control is a form of force and force is not love 🌷

Published January 28, 2018 by ravenstorm2014

Hello everyone I know it’s been a while since I have been on but there’s been so much happening lately that I thought I would share on here. Most of you know that I do domestic violence counseling and most of you know that I also have another business where I am a fashion consultant for Lularoe clothing line. As well as an author, and an Energy Healer. So I guess you could say my plate is quite full LOL. But I wanted to let you guys know that I am in the process of working on something that I think is going to answer a lot of questions for a lot of women. People been asking me for over a year now will be a sequel to loving the addict and after long consideration the answer is YES . There will be a sequel to loving the addict. At the moment I have been working on the storyline . However for those that read the book know that this part of the chapter is very painful one, very raw, and very heartfelt. With that said I am hoping to have a rough draft finished by summer time. I am quite excited and I look forward to sharing with you all as I go down this journey. So stay tuned for more to come.

Love and light

Raven ❤️