Biography of Raven Storm

I was born and raised in Chicago Illinois. The only child from divorced parents. Growing up I lived a very sheltered life.

From the time I was a little girl I was raised in and out of Hair salons mainly because of my mother who was a Nail technician and would take me to work with her . The first dollar I ever made was folding towels for her boss. I still have that dollar to this day. I had many jobs growing up from babysitting , to waitressing, to working in an intimate apparel store.  I think the most interesting of all was working for an adult entertainment store selling sex toys and apparel. . I became engaged to my first love when I was 17.  He was my back door neighbor  and a marine stationed in Ocean Side California.  Most of our relationship was long distance mainly of phone calls and letters unless he came in to visit me.  I left high school in my sophomore year and attended night school .  After graduation I followed my dream and went to Cosmetology School where I graduated top of my class.

By the time I was 21 I had outgrown my relationship and broke off the engagement. I  knew there were things that I wanted to do and see and being tied down was not one of them.  From 21 to 25 I lead a very exciting life of travel, romance, and working as a manager for a major Hair corporation. I was happy and content but I knew something was missing from my life.  When I met Jake I was managing a salon in a local mall. I remember that day like it was yesterday. He came in to get his hair cut fixed after it had been cut earlier that day.  Jake worked as a Personal trainer at the gym in the mall. He was egotistical and could not stop talking about himself and his muscles. I found him pompous  and arrogant.  But as pompous  of a jerk as he was , he was quite handsome , very muscular, and had the most gorgeous blue eyes I had ever seen. When he looked at you it was as if you were looking into the ocean. As the weeks went by Jake pursued me like a hunter goes after his prey little by little wearing me down.

From the very beginning Jake was a rollercoaster ride of emotions. He could be sweet and charming then turn on you like a dog.  Our relationship was toxic from start to finish. There were other woman that he cheated on me with, along with lies,  deceit,  and betrayal. There was incredible passion, lust, and sex  He was controlling, manipulative and  verbally abusive.   Jake always professed he loved me but his love in time became stifling, and obsessive. He had to know where I was , who I was with ,and when I would be back. He would come to work and sit with me every day to see who I was talking to and to make sure I wasn’t being too friendly. He trusted know one and barely let me in to his world.  I found out things about Jake that I never knew. His being in prison. his temper, his drug addiction to cocaine and me. No one understood the power or control Jake possessed over my heart. A spell some would say that could not be broken. More like an addiction I would say. I was Jake’s drug and he was mine. As much as we fought we couldn’t get enough of each other.

After being with Jake about a year I uprooted my life and moved to the country where he lived. I found.  As time went on I went from being this sweet naïve girl into something I could barely recognize. I began to live Jake’s life. Days would go by that I didn’t sleep or eat. Sometimes I would wake up to find Jake was gone. It could be days before he would return again. Jakes constant torment and verbal abuse began to take its toll on me. I became thinned and weak.  I was his puppet and he was my master. The first time we broke up Jake went crazy smashing things calling constantly leaving me harassing messages or texts. He was possessed with the thought of my not being there. Every fight lead to a red rose.  Jake always knew how to get me to take him back  but when I did he would punish me and make me out to be the bad guy. It was always my fault as to why I left never his. The years that followed Jake became psychotic and  physically abusive. The fear I felt was like nothing I had ever felt before. I was terrified to do anything to upset him.  I saw things that I only thought occurred in the movies, drug deals, arrests, car chases, burglary, shootings, violence . Jake had a temper and when he was angry you could feel his wrath.  One night we got into a fight and I left to go stay by my famililes house. I received a text from Jake  it was a picture of my dog laying in the backyard. I could see something from the rear view mirror in the backseat. Not knowing what it was I lifted the bag and inside was a dead dog’s head covered in blood. This is the torture I endured during my relationship with Jake.  Sometimes I never knew who or what I was living with.  The deeper into drugs he got the worse off things were between us.

As months flew by I did all I could to get away from Jake but no such luck. Fear kept me prisoner it was only when he released me was I truly free.  Jake and I finally ended after 5 long tormenting years..  At that point I started a whole new life.  A new job bartending,, a new apartment and even a new relationship things were going really well for me. I was happy and what I thought free. Free of the drama and psychosis that was Jake. I still was not back to myself entirely.  The abuse took its toll on me and I was never quite the same .  I later found out that I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder a condition I had no clue I had.  Things were finally falling into place I even began to date again. I no longer was hiding behind the pain I was finally able to show my face once again to the world.  It wasn’t until I started dating again that I realized just how much under Jake’s control I truly was.

I think the night my life completely changed was in September of 2008. Jake broke into my apartment beating me to a bloody pulp and leaving me for dead. I suffered from two black eyes, a head concussion, broken ribs, a sprained wrist, busted nose, lip and jaw, and bruises to every part of my body. And memory loss from the severe blows to the back of my head. From that point on my life was never the same again. The hardest part was looking in a mirror or the way my body looked after the attack. I felt ugly and damaged broken inside. I was bed ridden for over 6 months. If it hadn’t been for my dog I probably would never have gotten out of bed. But something inside began to take over and  a strength came over me I didn’t think I had. I began to fight, fight for my rights as a battered woman and fight to bring this man to justice.  Since Jake jumped off the balcony and escaped he was at large. This is when I set up my plan to bring him out of hiding. Every day the hate and venom  towards Jake grew. Knowing he was free and living his life while I nearly succumbed to mine.  I knew that if I wanted to get justice and bring this man to his knees by throwing him in jail I would have to do something drastic. So I set up a stake out and literally made him think I still loved him and would take him back. Once Jake was arrested I felt a sigh of relief to know he was no longer walking free but in a n 8×10 cell in a cage with bars where he belonged.

As time passed my fight continued. I became a huge domestic violence advocate for abused woman. I volunteered my time working in shelters  and helping in the food pantry to raise money for battered woman.  Even though Jake took a huge part of me away that night and my life was never the same, in some ways my life was better. I appreciated things and people more. I found my voice which had been so hidden for so many years and I learned to say no. I was no longer a controlled and manipulated puppet. Jake was my biggest mistake but he was also the best lesson I ever learned.  The first year of recovery was hell  mentally and physically. I had to deprogram myself from Jake.  I suffered from nightmares for the first two years and insomnia something which I still suffer from occasionally. Being unable to take care of myself at that time I had to move home so my family could take care of me. With every day I heal a little more.  This book was a self therapy of my thoughts and feelings. What started out as jotting down in a journal for cathartic purposes has turned into the biggest dream come true for me.  The purpose of the book is to show that I am no longer a victim but a survivor. I learned as the years went by that there is a light at the end of what was the darkest (passage) of my life.

Three years later every day is a new day. A new beginning for happiness or whatever life brings.  I truly believe that My faith in g-d and my spiritual belief has gotten me through so much. I realize how important friends and family really are and how precious life really is. There is still so much I want to see and do and accomplish in my life.  It’s as if I was given a second chance.  Yes a part of me died that night  but another part lived to tell her story.


12 comments on “Bio

    • Thank you so much Mary. Because of the domestic violence that I experienced lead me on the path to want to help others in similar situations. You are the ones that give me the strength and courage to continue to fight for others. I am here to help, to be of comfort and if there is anything that I can do please don’t hesitate to contact me.

  • Hi Raven – I, too, have been involved on and off for over twelve years with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. Fortunately right now the relationship is “off” and has been for 1 1/2 years, so I hope it stays that way. I just have to stay strong.

    That’s how I found your website – I am still trying to come to terms with the relationship and find some answers.

    I will say, that I thought my situation was bad but nothing like what you went through. Wow. I feel so bad for how you were treated and highly admire you for coming out of it and moving on with your life. That took a lot of strength.

    The thing I find hard to deal with is that people don’t understand that these toxic relationships are an addiction. And when you’re addicted you do all kinds of crazy things yourself and make bad decisions. I am still trying to forgive myself for the bad decisions- like I had financial problems and had to sell my house -but I did these things because I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was addicted and obsessed with this relationship 24/7.

    What has truly helped me is I have gotten professional help – I’ve probably been to ten therapists and a hypnotist. I just started with a new therapist. For so many years I didn’t even know that the person I was involved with was a narcissist and had BPD. That discovery took almost ten years but then shortly after that things began to slip into space and I finally decided to end the relationship. It helped to know that I was dealing with a crazy person who was driving me crazy and the only solution was to get out.

    I also now understand that the reason why I was attracted to this terrible man is because my Dad was a narcissist and had BPD so it felt “familiar” to me. Sad but true.

    In addition, I’m a bona fide co-dependent through and through and learned that behavior from the best – my mother. I’m fortunate though that my mother has always been loving and cared for me. I’d have been lost without her.

    I’m 61 now and re-building my life. I feel bad because I do have trouble trusting men now, but, my hope, is with help I will one day have a healthy relationship.

    Thanks for your time. I just wanted to let you know that your website has been very informative and that you helped someone out today.

    Best of luck,


    • Carrie thank you so much for reaching out to me and sharing your story of strength. Building the site was very important to me for this very reason to help other women out there to realize they are not alone that there is help out there. I’m so happy that you are working towards rebuilding your life. I thank you for sharing your story so others can see that there is hope. We as women need to stand together with strength, Kerge, and realize how strong of women we truly are.
      Love and Light
      Raven 🌹

  • Is there really hope to leave a sad, abusive and controlling marriage. Then to survive. Shelters don’t help. I cannot find counseling. Is there any reason to even try to survive it?

    • Mary there is always reason to try to move forward and to survive. You don’t deserve to be in a abusive controlling marriage. Where are you located? Perhaps I can find some resources for you in the area you are at. Never give up never lose hope and never lose faith

      • Thank you for caring. It is very kind and thoughtful of you. I just can’t live this way much longer. We all reach our breaking point, and I’ve reached mine.
        No one to turn to. I’m tired and my heart is broken. The abuse is too much.
        I wish you much success and happiness!

      • Mary I am going to look into your ZIP Code to try to find you some help. Or some resources that you might be able to utilize in your hometown that might be able to help you to try to get out of your situation. If you could email me at
        Then I can send you some information privately .
        Love and light Raven🌹

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